Hi P.

Well I'm not Catholic either and I'm not sure what you mean by the "obvious old priest young priest jokes." But there are a couple of ways to try to get rid of a ghost: The first and easiest thing to try is to tell the ghost to leave. The physical world is your domain and you have the power and control over it. The ghost is part of the spiritual domain and does not have power in this world. Be firm, and simply tell the ghost it must leave your area, that it doesn't belong here any longer.
If this fails, the next option is to have someone who is psychic come in and communicate with the ghost and have her/him try to get rid of the ghost for you.

If the ghost is someone you knew that recently crossed over you may not be able to get rid of them that easily because they may be attempting to communicate with you about something. If it is a ghost that once lived in the house, and has no relationship to you, you may be lucky enough to rid yourself of the ghost by explaining to it that it has died and no longer has a physical body and needs to move on to the spiritual realm. Do not yell, do not sound angry, simply be firm in your statements to the ghost.

Thanks for writing Eeeek! Hope this answers your questions!